I'm a Tosser

Please, don't everyone disagree at once.

While I'm in a good mood (see earlier), I thought I'd blog something a bit darker and possibly uncomfortable. I'll stress that this isn't aimed at any one person. Really, it's not.

So I have this habit of winding people up. Yes, sometimes it's deliberate (and it's obvious when it is judging by the reactions of others) but more often it's not. I've no idea how or why I have this effect on people, but I think it's worse online.

Is this just a classic case of being misunderstood? I like to think I'm clear and articulate enough, but I recognise that inflections and hand movements (what are they called again?) are lost sometimes and tone can be assumed, but that doesn't explain real life. Do I appear lecturey or patronising? Insulting even? That isn't (usually) my intent. Do I not listen or respond? Am I too stubborn?

Should I bite my tongue more? I don't feel like I ever say anything too controversial or offensive. Perhaps that implies that I should be more sensitive? Perhaps there's something wrong with me if I don't understand why it's so offensive to say, for example, that someone should go to the cinema on their own or that they actually fit in with life more than they think that they do. Am I too cold and clinical?

And then why do these people bother with me? No, I'm not looking for a pat on the back or a friendly punch on the chin here. I realise that in life two perfectly nice and reasonable people can grate on each other - I accept this if it happens, move on and generally stay out of these people's faces. And yet sometimes a perfectly reasonable conversation with a good friend quickly digresses into an unexpected flaming. Thankfully the presence of the former keeps us friendly, but the latter shouldn't be inevitable should it? I guess I could just step back when I see things heading in a particular direction, but I always feel somewhat dishonest or patronising when I do, like I'm shrugging the person off. But then perhaps how I feel shouldn't matter at that point?

Perhaps I'm looking too much into something that's perfectly normal - after all at the end of the day I'm still a good friend (I hope!). I'd prefer not have to get into these situations, but maybe the good only comes with the bad? Is this all a part of friendship? There are (admittedly a few) people with whom I've never had these kind of problems with, but then everyone is different.

Sigh. Perhaps I just need to use smilies more.