What Not To Wear

I don't often comment on ladies' fashion. I think it's as imposing as saying whether they should wear hijab or not, plus it changes so often most of the things that make my toes curl drop off the radar sooner or later anyway.

However there have been a few things lately that have just refused to lay down and die. Here is my current list of no-nos:

• Cropped trousers. The classic just-above-the-ankle ones were just about bearable. But anything higher than that make these shorts and girls should not wear shorts on a day to day basis; and especially not to work. In fact, when you have gypsy skirts available to you why would you ever want to wear anything else?
  
• Peep/peek toes. Ok, I admit that some women can pull these off. However, most can't and it's best to err on the side of caution with these. And they look freakingly uncomfortable too so we should ban them for health and safety reasons anyway. If you really have to display your toes (if, for example, your life somehow depended on it), then show them all instead of just your biggest, innit?
  
• Wedges. Urgh. The natural progression of the platforms of the 90's but just as cheap and tacky. Don't do it, Billy. Regular heels are where it's at, and if you need stability go kitten or even flat altogether. No one really cares about your height or calves. Honestly, they don't.
  

Don't worry, the above advice is completely free. No need to thank me; consider this my gift to society. And if you ever need fashion advice on a more personal level, let me know. I am pretty busy nowadays, but I'm sure I can give you a quick look over at the very least.