Just Do It

I had another interesting conversation with a (female) friend few weeks back. They were asking the age old question of who, with respect to gender, should approach whom first when deciding if there's any mutual interest between the two. Of course in her terms this was "it's obvious that I like him, so why isn't he saying anything?", not realising that the guy is thinking the exact same thing and further how neither wants to make any presumptions about the other.

Guys and girls aren't made equal so someone must be better equipped to take the plunge initially. Although most people would say it's the boys who should go first, I once again stated my arguments as to why it should be the ladies. After being shot down for suggesting she should start dropping more hankies, I pointed out how she was still single, so any further course of action was up to her.

Anyway, it turns out that we weren't talking about asking out people we didn't know, but friends - good friends. My bemusement was surprising for her; I mean shouldn't you just tell them? I don't keep much from my friends and I'm hardly tactful with any of them either, so if it was indeed a friend that you needed to talk to about this stuff, surely it shouldn't matter that it's about them? Respective genders don't even come into it in this case.

I mean if you're uncomfortable about it then perhaps you don't really know them after all? And if they say no, appropriately, then a real friendship would be able to handle that. If they begin to act inappropriately (by going cold, awkward, indiscreet or in my opinion worse of all begin to take liberties)... well then they were probably a dick(ess) anyway and you're better off without.

That's classed as a win-win, I say. I'll reiterate again how I believe I would tell someone about any strong feelings I had for them, and further that without any anticipation of anything in return. I admit that I might be slightly unusual in treating my emotions in a clinical and quantifiable way, but whatever the case it is possible to come out of such a situation unharmed and I'm not just talking the talk here.

There's pretty much nothing to lose and everything to gain, so why delay and wonder what if? Just do it already!

Originally drafted 13th August 2007.