Requirements Analysis

Another dinner and another heated discussion about relationships. It seems that whenever this particular circle widens, the topic just has to be raised; perhaps as a kind of rite of passage to more chilled out and regular conversation later on or something. It's enough to make me want to dump single people altogether and just stick to the couples, although everyone knows how boring they are (and I probably enjoy these conversations way too much to do that anyway. But that's not the point).

Last night, I was once again asked the question of What Exactly Shak Wants in a Woman. The pretence is so that those questioning would know who to look out for on my behalf, but I think they're just being nosey really. Anyway, as some of you know, my stock reply to this line is "anything with a pulse" which usually gets a laugh or two (ok, fine, it doesn't get any), but regardless of that it's actually not the facetious answer that it may seem to be.

I've always claimed that I've not had the objective criteria others may do. I don't really have hard limits (well, in isolation anyway) for things like age, height, nationality, ethnicity, education, whether they wear a hijab or not, what language they think in, what their parents do, skin tone or cup size, whether they can cook, any history, if they want to stay with my parents or move out or whether they want a career or not. However ideal a potential wife might be I can't bring myself to say any of the above is important enough to write anyone off completely.

"That's not good enough. You have to give us some where to start!" was the reply this time. "For example, the three things I need in someone are for them to put me in my place when I need to be, make me laugh and make me feel special". I raised an eyebrow at this point.

There are a few issues I have with statements like these:

1. They're largely vacuous. I mean, it's not like anyone would want someone that made them unhappy or feel not very special at all.
2. They're very rhetorical, and not much for a friend or colleague or Shaadi.com member to go on.
3. They're vague, subjective and difficult to measure. It's unlikely the person in question would recognise these things themselves let alone a third party.

In short, it's not really a very useful specification to give out. I don't think I'd be able to filter out people for a friend in that position; in my opinion potentially anyone could do all of the above under the right conditions. Better to make the introduction and let the relevant parties find out for themselves, methinks.