Aunties Always Know

I had an interesting conversation with a phoopi (aunt) once. This was back in Pakistan the last time I visited, way back in 2005[1]. My phoopi is a typical aunt-from-back-home: she's funny, approachable, simple and knows what's important in life. In other words, she's super-wise.

Anyway the context was that of the usual marriage-drilling, and in particular when[2] I was going to. After the usual jovial toing and froing, my aunt profoundly came to the conclusion that I just didn't understand girls.

It's something so obviously true that I was more stunned that I had to travel all the way to Karachi to be told this. I guess it's something one takes for granted; after all I can do algebra, I can debate (kinda), I can run marathons and I get along with people from all walks of life, so it never occurred to me that I fundamentally may not be able to understand women. Well, in the context of a relationship anyway.

I mean, sure, a lot of guys blatantly don't know what they're doing when first getting involved with a member of the opposite sex. But they usually step up to the challenge, learn on the job or just blag their way through it. I've never quite been a blagger myself, and I've never been pushed to learn the skills required either.

For example, introductions to date have failed (albeit amicably) because I've either been too deep, too shallow, too religious or not religious enough. Perhaps I lack consistency, I dunno, but whatever it is it seems to the bigger issue of a lack of experience than not being at all attractive on paper.

So what's the solution? Well, I could just not worry and wait for it to be thrust upon me, when I would undoubtedly(!) rise to the occasion. Or I could try and get some practise in and do what other, more normal, people do (when they're not blogging, of course) and start dating.

But I'm out of words for today, so I'll leave that particular discussion for a later post. But for now, just remember: sometimes the wisest people to talk to are also those most accessible to you.

[1] And why am I writing about it now? Let's just say my backlog of drafts really is that long...

[2] Personally, I prefer "if" to "when". Perhaps its fatalistic, but it'll make it all seem less of a failure if (when?) it doesn't happen.