Random Approach

As word of my uselessness flows to the ears of my so-called-friends, the topic of discussion inevitably turns to what I, or indeed any guy, should do in that particular situation. It's an age old question really: how is a guy supposed to approach a random girl in the street/tube/supermarket?

Well in my humble opinion we shouldn't. The reasoning goes that since most girls complain about loser guys hitting on them, then no guys should just in case they offend or freak out their intended target-victims. In short: it's inappropriate. And this is why it's traditionally the girl's job to show an interest in guys first; this is what handkerchiefs were made for after all.

On the other hand, the implication of that if true is that no one actually wants me to pick their stuff up. And since that's a bit too depressing, I'm going to believe that girls are either too shy or just naively think it's a job for the guys.

But wait! It turns out that I'm actually wrong about this whole thing and that girls don't mind a random guy smiling or talking to them after all! This is, however, only valid if the guy in question is good-looking. Unbelievable, eh? Although now that I think about it, perhaps we shouldn't be that surprised at all.

Putting aside for the minute the fact that I was excused to approach girls since I'm apparently handsome enough not to offend (man, I'm so bad at this false modesty lark), there are obvious moral issues with such a social system. Now, I'm not saying that looks don't matter or that we should go against any feelings of natural attraction we might have toward another (and I'm hardly the least shallow guy around). No, it's that I refuse to accept that the opportunities in life of an individual should be determined by how they look.

I mean, look. If we considered approaching a stranger analogous to a, I dunno, job interview, we would never accept a company saying that only good looking people can approach them for work. This is even the case for a modelling agency, who would then be totally within their rights to politely decline any not-so-good-looking candidates. What would not be acceptable is if they were somehow offended or deemed it inappropriate for the poor guy or girl to have tried at all.

And so here it is: no matter how permitted and encouraged I am by my girl mates to approach the random others of their kind, I will continue to refuse to do so until all of my brothers, no matter what their physical qualification, are entitled to do so as well. To do otherwise would be to support an unjust system that propagates a kind of body-fascism that has no place at all in today's free world.

Yes. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.