The Silver Lining

Getting rejected is a good thing. Hold up, hold up: let me explain.

As the proposer, you know you've done as much as you can. You've taken it as far as you could have on your own, after having given the situation your full consideration. You're the one who was brave; you're the one who took the risk. It was you who had lived life to the fullest and seized the day. You're the one who went out of your way to compliment and flatter the other. You're also the one who knows that they couldn't have changed the outcome, that there's nothing left to see, that this is, in fact, the end. There's nothing more to see here, and you're the one who can move on.

Now let's consider the poor rejector. They on the other hand was put on the spot and had little time to come to the decision they did. Can they ever be sure that they made the right one? They're the ones who could regret saying no; they're the ones who will wonder what if. The full weight of missing out on what could have been is fully on their shoulders, the responsibility wholly theirs. In fact, for them the story might not be over for a long time.

So not only do they fare worse than you, but they also did you a favour, having saved you from one of those inevitably sticky relationship things (does anybody even want one of those things?).

On the other hand, it could quite possibly suck. But to be honest I don't think there's that much in it.

Originally posted 21st August 2008