WEBINAR: 3 Critical Mistakes A Single Muslimah Makes When Finding Her ‘Mr. Right’ For Marriage
Best self-help-marriage-webinar title ever. I'd attend, except it's probably full of the same rubbish I've been spouting myself for years already. Funny how women'll all listen to a Shaikh on the Internet (DYSWIDT?) to tell them the obvious but tell me to bugger off. Maybe I should rebrand myself and start using "InshaAllah" more.
Interestingly I just signed up and was presented with a further pitch - for just $1 I can learn how to "Speak His Language"; and so the moneyspinning spam begins. It's a trap ladies, don't do it; if anything I can give you the same advice (you know, to dumb yourself down a bit and laugh at all his jokes) for free anyway.
EDIT: So I attended. And although it was just as I said, it wasn't that bad. More thoughts in a separate post.
Wednesday, January 6
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I can see why you would be cynical about this webinar, but though I haven't seen it yet, I have had a look at Practimate's website and think they are genuinely trying to help the sorry state of our Ummah. The initiative is quite innovative because they are trying to get the sexes to understand each other's perspective better, and to know how to communicate effectively.
ReplyDeleteThere is one page for single sisters who are 25-30 which asks them to leave a post on their obstacles to getting married. There are lots of lonely stories on there about parents, insecurities, lack of networks and even ethnicity (would you believe it?). In other words, the initiative is trying to get to the heart of the matter regarding why the number of singletons is accumulating, particularly females. I think this page is probably quite therapeutic too.
A helpful tip in particular in the written advice says that people should volunteer for Islamic organisations and attend circles, or even start their own, in order to meet a like-minded Mr.Right. This is a helpful because many Muslims are zealous about strict segregation, but offer no suggestions as to how young Muslims are supposed to find someone.
So I think the webinar is probably quite useful. The $1 is probably just to cover their costs, because they also attend conferences etc.
Practimate seems like a strategic attempt to help all the lonely Muslim hearts out there, and is taking it seriously, while many aren't.
>A helpful tip in particular in the written advice says that people should volunteer for Islamic organisations and attend circles, or even start their own, in order to meet a like-minded Mr.Right. This is a helpful because many Muslims are zealous about strict segregation, but offer no suggestions as to how young Muslims are supposed to find someone.
ReplyDeleteThis one paragraph sums up my issue with both Practimate and those who think their approach is useful. Continuing from your example, as honourable as starting up a Muslim organisation is, it is essentially being offered as a (quick-fix) solution to getting married. In this case better advice would be for those who zealously guard their segregation to seriously look at why they're doing so and to what end. If Practimate said this then it'd have more credibility in my eyes.
As it stands I think its current solutions are pretty short term and shallow. Judging by the thread you mention most single people don't even know what their problems really are, and so it's not surprising that these solutions make sense to them.
It's nothing personal - I'd have the same criticism at anyone who offered marriage "strategy", including self-help books and magazine articles. It's all snake-oil and dressing it up in Islamic terminology doesn't make it any more legit. But hey, if it gets some people happily married then it's all good.
Just to be clear though: the webinar itself is free. It's another video that was advertised on registration that cost a buck. I still may attend the webinar.
> And although it was just as I said, it wasn't that bad
ReplyDeleteThe webinar wasn't just as you said (in reference to your latest post). You admitted there were some useful points so why not just say 'I was partially wrong'.
> This one paragraph sums up my issue with both Practimate and those who think their approach is useful. Continuing from your example, as honourable as starting up a Muslim organisation is, it is essentially being offered as a (quick-fix) solution to getting married.
Practimate isn't perfect but it isn't helpful to call its solutions shallow. The reason why people are not married is complex and so if it helps chip away at the problem then that is a good thing:
Setting up an organisation is a very good idea for the long-term. Their suggestion is addressing the fragmented society we live in. One reason why people aren't getting married is that we're not connected as a society, so they're suggesting people to set up a new organisation as a way of facilitating networks - for example in the way that ICSS has brought people together, and as I understand has helped to bring about at least one marriage. I don't think the solution is short-term, because some Muslims are disconnected from their community - I know I was where I grew up in Kent. And the mosques don't necessarily being people together either.
And they're not claiming their suggestions are a quick-fix.
Self-help books have helped me, and I believe 'self-help' phenomenon, strategies, books and the like, though contrived sometimes, can be a positive force in people's lives. Some people are surrounded by negative messages and negative people who sabotage their lives, so self-help can help to lift them out of a web of negativity.