Shoes Glorious Shoes, 2011 Edition

I had a mixed reaction the last time I gave my opinion on the state of ladies' footwear. Some found it quite insightful and even useful, while others considered it the end of any chance I would ever have with a willing woman. But hey, this blog has never been about me being on the pull, and if helping certain girl mates who clearly can't pick footwear means I have to live my life alone, well then that's a sacrifice I'm more than willing to make.

Considering how long ago I first wrote about this topic, I guess girlie shoe fashion hasn't changed that quickly. That said for some reason we've had a raft of new styles come in over the past year or so – and there's no doubt I'm noticing them more now that I'm on a commute.

Judging by the terrible quality of style and design I can only imagine that shoe designers everywhere are so bored that they had to invent anything. What's depressing is how so many are willing to part with their cash in order to justify what can only be described as a broken design decision making process.

But anyway, let's talk specifics shall we? Don't worry there is some good news, but I'll leave that till last.

First up lets revisit that particular bug bear of mine – peep toes. To be honest I've somewhat softened my stance on these, but that's more due to becoming familiar with them rather than liking them for what they are. But that original distaste has now returned after seeing what I suppose some consider to be the natural progression – peep toe boots. Putting aside the fact that these make no logical sense, they just plain look stupid too. It's quite simple really – if you're covering up most of your foot up to your ankle (or higher), then to show your toes is kind of absurd:


And of course, the more of your foot you show in a boot, the more absurd it looks. Fully open toes on a boot? The show of a heel even?


Like I said, absurd. But not as absurd as flip flop boots. I mean look, subject to the feet wearing them, I love flip flops. And of course, like any man, I love boots. However putting the two together is just insanity. I'm actually finding it hard to carry on talking about these bizarre creations of man; that's how much I despise them. They really are the biggest crime I'm going to talk about today:


More awful examples of these monstrosities here.

Next up are brogue shoes. Now I'm going to admit that I have mixed feelings about these than the above and although some are awesome, some do make me feel uneasy. I guess I see a lot of them as masculine and am put off my them in the same way I would be seeing a girl in a men's suit, with a shirt, tie and braces and bowler hat; and we all know that cross dressing is not sexy, even if you just restrict that to your shoes. So avoid these:


But even if you do decide to go for these, then please please please don't forget your socks. On the other hand, losing the laces, adding more colours and a heel make brogues awesome. In short, keep them feminine and we're all good:


But hey, let's end on a positive note. Although I'm normally not too fussed about military boots (see my aversion to masculinity, above), I absolutely love the zipped and deliberately unlaced style making the rounds at the moment:


There's just something totally hot about the comfort, casualness and carefreeness of these things – combine them with a pair of skinny jeans and baggy top (big hair optional) and you've pretty much made my day. The weird thing is that no one seems to know what I'm talking about when describing them - even the few girls (random or otherwise) I've seen wearing them didn't think the style of boot had a name when I asked them for one. Apparently they can be found in River Island and those independent shoe shops you find around Oxford Street or All Saints. I've also seen similar on Ebay. They're awesome and cheap so there's no reason not to buy yourself a pair; the best colours are anything dirty - dirty grey, dirty khaki or dirty black.

Till next time!